Demagnetization, Salmon, and Arne

To begin, I have to thank all of you for your comments, your hair suggestions, the extensive research some of you conducted regarding best practices for keeping frizzy hair follicles to a minimum. I appreciate, too, the challenges you've thrown my way - add pictures, include hyperlinks. I was hesitant to begin this blog, but now am incredibly thankful for it has allowed me to feel "close to home" despite being far from all of you whom I love you.

I am so defeated by the hair situation that I cannot write more than a few lines. I washed, I dried, I curled, I sprayed. A minute out of the air-conditioning, it fell. By the time I entered the DOE, it was in a ponytail - I lamented with the security guards. I bought a fan this evening at Rite-Aid. The woman was pleased to announce that I earned $7.00 toward my next purchase of hair products. If she only knew...

You'd think the subway commute would be a breeze. I navigated the NYC subway - happily riding along on my favorite E & F trains. But, this DC commuting catastrophe would be hilarious if it weren't so hot and I wasn't so defeated by the time I arrive at Dupont Circle. This morning there was a slight breeze in the air that lifted my spirits and fewer people at the station because I left earlier. With all the ease of a native Washingtonian I inserted my metro card and - nothing. Instead of welcoming me into the underground it read "See station manager." Seriously? Why?

Logically, I approach the station manager office and - empty. There was a man in a uniform with an orange vest standing near a garbage can feverishly text messaging. In my khaki Ann Taylor pants and adorable new salmon colored top, I say, "Excuse me. Do you know where the station manager might be?" Was I wrong to assume that since the man was standing near a garbage can AWAY from the station office and TEXTING on his phone that he might not be the station manager? Apparently, I was wrong to make that assumption. In an annoyed and gruff tone, he responded, "I'm the manager." Really? 'Cause you aren't where you should be, you aren't doing what you should be doing and you're annoyed because I assumed you weren't in charge. (Okay, I kept that thought to myself, and sheepishly apologized.)

He took my card and walked away. There I am - Ann Taylor pants & salmon top standing next to a garbage can. So, I followed him. He was silent. He went into the office. He came out. He handed me the card. "It's demagnetized. You need a new card. Go to Metro Center - they'll fix it for you." What? Demagnetized? What a ridiculous problem! Perhaps, DC, if you stopped using metro cards that were PAPER and could easily be 'demagnetized' by cell phones, I wouldn't have this issue. Isn't this the nation's capitol? Shouldn't this subway run more efficiently than any other? NY has a metro card made of plastic - an extra card I carry in my wallet always - is there a reason why DC's card is useless when placed near any piece of technology that could suddenly, without warning, wipe it of its magical magnetic power? I bought a new card. I assume I'll waste time some afternoon at Metro Center trying to transfer the $25 remaining on my useless card to a new paper card.

I recovered. Bought a new card and headed down into the ground. Wasn't I looking professional, poised, and polished walking toward the DOE? Nod to the Homeland Security building and in I go to work. I drop my bags at Security and watch them go through the imaging machine. I commiserate with the guards about the humidity and my hair. And, wait, my new, fabulous, sea-shell cream bag that holds everything without looking like the apocapurse has a salmon tint. Visualize 1980s eye shadow color smeared all over my purse. Apparently, my fabulous shirt bled onto my purse. So, now I have a shimmering salmon-sea shell purse that looks absurd. Any suggestions as to how to remove that stain from my new bag?

It's fine. No one is looking at me, my hair, or my purse on the subway. How could they? They're all probably clutching their metro cards protecting the magnetic strip from demagnetization - nobody thought to tell me.

But, alas, a highlight of the day - an email from Arne. No, not to me directly but to my inbox. I was reading a GAO report (for all those who want to brush up on their Washington agency knowledge) when I heard the sweet 'ping' of an email arriving in my box. And, there, from "Duncan, Arne" was a message which began, "Dear Colleagues." Ah, yes, to be Arne's newest "colleague." It was almost too much for me...

Check out Arne's "Let's Read, Let's Move" campaign if you want to see him in action!

So, there you have it. Another 102 degree day in DC. Some hyperlinks as per requested. And, many thanks, once again, for all your kind words & comments. I miss you.